missing a day
It’s Tuesday and I guess somehow I missed writing on the blog yesterday. Not due to lack of wanting. Ended up though doing nothing after walking in the morning. Today we decided to go downtown for breakfast which always means a change for the morning writing.
Some of the change was this desire to try another way of journaling. Everlog has always interested me. I like the minimal yet attractive writing but the thing I face each time is ease. There’s this pace to writing now which just seems hard to beat. I also like being able to easily switch in the same app to writing on the blog. The journal becomes an everything and catch all for me. It holds a day really well without the weather and location.
The impulse has always been to try something else. What I’ve found that I need is to have all the writing as files I can copy or touch or edit. Since I only write a daily journal and the blog posts, the ease of creation is upon me.
So I don’t switch besides to try a thing and see how I like it. There’s always some kind of urge to make things more difficult or complex that takes me on occasion. Then it’s a momentary stop on obsidian. It never takes long to leave that behind. I don’t need graphs and canvas things and back links. There’s also just the app itself. It’s butt ugly. Especially on mobile. It’s like someone shrunk the desktop app and thought it would all just work with tiny little menu options. None of the themes or plugins do the one thing I want above all else...
writing
So I just stop and take iA Writer back.
Now coffee
We ended up going out for breakfast this morning. The place my wife simply loves. Problem is it gets overwhelmed with expats and they all smoke. I see the same people there most times we go. My wife asked me once if I desired someone in that cohort as a friend. I have come to the reluctant conclusion that barang people do the most part so not have close friendships. We have coffee and beer buddies sometimes. I just see no path to having or wanting someone closer. So I don’t.
Instead I write about it. That seems close enough to the regular crew of expats I see.
We also routinely talk Khmer family. Since my wife’s sons live with us now they are a presence and have needs. I’ve told her I’m happy to have them but I won’t fund their social lives. They need work if they want change. She agrees. She told them this morning,
Don’t ask daddy for money. He worked years and years and finally was able to stop. I will give you some.
My wife controls the finances which is a normal thing in Cambodian households. She is very thrifty and will guard the money and make sure there is the best food. She also will buy my clothing. She gets a better deal since I’m quoted barang prices.
So all in we end up talking more about life here and little things she wants changed. She wishes both boys to have jobs and be responsible. She’s thankful for just what she has here. A day laborer in Cambodia makes $200 a month sweeping and cleaning. Park workers not much more. The divide is significant so my wife recognizes we may not be rich but we are much better off than most of her family has it.
When I look back and think of the other years and how agonizing and frustrating it all was and how life is now, I get this sense of wanting to tell Cambodia “Akun” for it all. I got this life that now I journal and blog about.
See you down my road.